Monday, September 13, 2010

I Know I'm Not The Only One...

So last night, I was watching Cruel Intentions (One of My Favorite Movies) so I began to think to myself, what a great movie it is. Then Subconsciously, my mind began to wonder...

My Answer...
DISCLAIMER: By no means do I support the ancient, old fashioned ways of incest nor do I promote it or look down upon it. This is strictly for comedic purposes only adding an ounce of truth to it. If you are offended by anything that I say here today, please hit that "x" in the top right hand corner of your screen, or better yet, go chew glass, kick a sharp blunt metal object barefooted, gargle bleach, bathe in gasoline then walk around a room full of candles, or my personal favorite slit your wrists with butter knives. Thanks.

But before I digress...

I mean lets, be honest I know I'm not the only person that'll tap a step sibling (female for you "funny" people). Especially if my mom or dad were to re-marry around the age that I am now, or re-marry around the age of 18 or so, there would definitely be some insubordinate activities going on in that household. I know some of you guys are like, "Royal you have really lost it !" or saying, "Royal that is sick!"  But lets keep it G(i.e. real, honest, truthful)... First off, there are people in this universe that have relationships with their paternal brother or sister. There are people in this Universe that even have relationships with their first or second cousin. And lastly EVERYONE alive has had a cousin, no matter who it was, ( your first cousin, second cousin, etc.) that you was attracted to, and given the moment, on a starry drunken ( some of you sickos don't even have to be intoxicated) night you would knock those boots until the cows came home(old country ass saying). For all of you out there whom still haven't took your slice of Humble Pie, in order to admit that you would "knock off" a step sibling, I've compiled a list of celebrities (three females) that I know would have you running to their rooms as soon as mommy and daddy went to sleep.

3. Rihanna

Ri Ri, is a classic choice for a step sister because she reminds me of how I conventional sister would be. Not to mention if you ever got into one of those sibling fights with her, she can take a ass whoopin and that's always a plus(word to C.Breezy). We know Ri Ri got a couple of screws lose therefore you are liable to wake up to her in your bed at ANY TIME. But do to her constant violent nature she comes in at number 3. But she's still a Smash Hit! #NoPunIntended

2. Lady Gaga
As much as I can't stand this hoe, for she is the #Illuminati's main toy to deliver ignorance to the masses, if Gaga was my step sister, she would get dragged (i.e. extreme sexual pleasure delivered to an individual through rapid and forceful sexual methods). Guys can understand especially us "ethnic" men if our mother married a white man, Gaga would be the PERFECT stepsister. Her crazy ass would be down for whatever. Not to mention, she got a lil ass on her as well( white woman with ass alert !!!) . And there is no mistake about it that Gaga is a straight freak. The only downside to Gaga is that she has this weird fascination with queer men, so she would probably try to get you to use anal beads (word to Karrine) and I'm not down with that...

1. Nikki Minaj
 Damn right... Nikki Lewinski tops the list for the females. I don't give two FCUKS, three FCUKS how fake her body is. Nikki is the PROTOTYPE stepsister. She's the type that when you all first move in and have dinner as a "family" at the dinner table, she lets you know what it is by giving you that "signal." Gentlemen you know what signal I'm taking about and ladies you know what signal you guys do, that #INeedSomethingInMyMouth signal. LOL. Not to mention you know Nikki would keep everything on the low no matter how mad she ever became at you. She's the type that'lll let you hit, suck you dry, then invite her girlfriends over to clown on you (the sisterly thing to do), like nothing ever happened. Last but definitely not least, the chick LOVES other women. That's a instant 3-way or 4-way match. We #SALUTE you Nikki Minaj.

Now... Do You all see what I mean?! Ladies I KNOW you all have fantasies about a celebrity male being a Step Brother, for instance most of y'all like Gay Songz,  Trey Songz, (that lil guy look like he don't care if you're his sister, step-sister, aunt, grandma, test tube baby) and you know if he made advances at you, you would surely take them.

So what do you guys think about this? Who do you think would make an interesting Step Sibling? Ladies and Gentlemen talk to me!!!


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