Friday, April 15, 2011

Dairy of a TIRED Black Woman

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn...
- Some Jabroni
What's good ya'll ? I know its been awhile but forgive me I been very busy. But anyways, one of my devoted readers sent me a letter in which she wanted me to share with you all. And it is some Grade A, %100 potent, mind crack. So let me stop my rambling and let you read this...

Hello Royal,  

Love your blog that you have been continuously neglecting therefore leading your devoted followers within the dark... lol... But anyways, that not why I'm writing you. Although you do a good job of telling the people things that they NEED to know, there are a few things the general population fails to understand it. I can only speak on these things because 1) I’ve been through them 2) I know someone that has been through the said situation or 3) My mother taught me well. Let’s learn some things.  

  1. It is not okay to think you have your girl or guy all to yourself. You should work hard EVERYDAY to make sure you are doing everything possible (in a reasonable sense) so that they do not go to someone else for what you are lacking. I know this from all three reasons. A phone call a day could be the deciding factor if someone cheats or leaves you.  As females, I can admit we sometimes ask for a lot but at the same time if you can keep your word and an open line of communication, just about everything else is null and void, if she truly cares about you. As for males, ladies, you will have to be a whore (yes, a whore, an underpaid prostitute) for your man if you want him to stay around. Now I’m not saying be down with the orgies and three-somes (unless you want to) but there are going to be days/mornings/nights/ car drives that some things will have to take place that you may not be comfortable with, at first. I say “you live once.” It’s just sex, it won’t kill you – if you know what you’re doing that is.  

  2. Cheating is real as fuck. If you think for one minute there isn’t what I call a “reserve” number in your girlfriend/boyfriends phone, you aren’t smart enough to be in a relationship yet. If you don’t believe me, start arguing over stupid shit on a regular basis and see if your significant other just starts ignoring the arguments or hits you with the “ok. Within an hour of you leaving, they are headed to see said “reserve” or the said/unsaid person is on their way over.  They may put up with you through it all but they WILL stop putting out for you.  

  3. Relationships are the worst/best/unbeneficial/beneficial thing a human can go through. Why you ask? Am I bitter or something? Not at all, I am very happy.  What I mean by the statement that NO relationship is just great. It takes work, time, patience and trust. It WILL take months to build up to a happy relationship but if you can’t make it through the initial stage of truly getting to know someone, you’re doomed.  Actually, I take that back. You aren’t doomed, some relationships work like that. But for the other 97% of relationships don’t expect to know all you want about a person in the first 3 months of meeting. You are not entitled to be that involved in someone’s life that soon. If you don’t like how things are going during the initial “get to know you stage” you might want to keep it G and leave quietly before it’s too late.  

  4. Know WHEN to have sex. Now, it’s been said I’m not the most logical person known to man but I think I have a pretty good handle on certain situations.  I’ll give a few examples to help you all better understand a healthy sex life. BY NO MEANS IS IT OKAY TO BE A HOE!!!! Now with that said, let’s define hoe. Is a hoe someone who sleeps with a lot of people or can we say she’s “confused” (lol that was a joke) But really, I think a hoe is someone who is not WOMEN enough to fess up to her sexual escapades. Now granted, sleeping with 5 people in 2 days is trashy in all cultures, BUT, if she cool with it, who am I to judge? I digress, healthy sex life. If you are single, having a designated, binding contractual (lol) sex partner, cut buddy, fuck friend, NSA partner, etc is okay. BUT JUST ONE!!! Maury has a fucking waiting list. Sex is a stress reliever and when done right, you can also build a pretty decent, low key, friendship out the situation. Another example, when getting to know someone: YYEEESSSS I know how the initial physical attraction can be hard to ignore and all you want to do and fuck them until you go to work the next morning BUT you must have self control. If you do not know his/her birthday, last name, or even how old they are for sure, please wait (at least until you know that much.) I can honestly say, waiting isn’t always the best thing. Some people feel you aren’t attracted to them or you’re just using them for time filler and a few free meals.  Be smart and use good judgment.  
  5. Can EVERYONE please understand unless it has been discussed, you and some guy/girl are not talking, dating, together, working on being together, or even “kicking it” for that matter.  IT MUST BE DISCUSSED!!! I am O V E R people saying they are talking to someone and then the person is confused as to why the girl/guy they are actually talking to runs up on them due to your dumbass rumor. Let’s be clear, nothing is set in stone expect marriage and even that can be changed. If you want to live the lie that “it’s understood/implied” fine, go ahead but I warned your slow ass beforehand.  
Now that we have gotten those basic rules to a happy, healthy social life when involving someone else I pray that those reading this have learned something or maybe realized they need to have “that talk” with some people. I already know, those reading this probably already know this information and those who need to hear it/read it/understand it won’t. I can’t worry about them. If I know you personally and you fuck up on any of these 5 things covered, I won’t be listening to your sob story with empathy.  

A Tired Black Woman

So.... people PLEASE let me know what you think about this... I KNOW you all will have A LOT to say...


1 comment:

  1. Lol, honestly I love this post. It's a comedic way to put things in a perspective a lot of people need to see from. I've noticed that folks have this idea that when they get into a relationship the work is done. When in all actuality, the easy part was the "dating/talking" phase + now comes the real work. A relationship is a full-time job with endless benefits if you (both) are putting in the hours. I feel like you should go to all ends to make sure that your partner is happy, especially if that is being reciprocated. A lot of people say you can't do that for everybody, and I agree, which is why you should be extra cautious of the person you enter said relationship with. You can't be everybody's personal on-call prostitute.

    The reserve? Eh, I kinda agree with that. If you're always arguing with your partner, it makes another person that seems to have less issues more appealing. I mean, the reserve is refreshing because you don't have to put up with that person every day, deal with the problems, etc.. So it SEEMS as if everything is all good, but if you spend everyday in paradise, eventually you'll get tired of that too.

    I think the last thing I want to say is you don't know anything without communication. If you cannot talk to your partner, cut buddy, boo daddy, whatever you call it... There will always be endless problems. Like she said, you cannot go into things and just assume that "oh yeah we're together" or "oh yeah we're monogamous." Those things have to be discussed between both parties involved. Although it may be nice to see the world through rose colored glasses, you'll be a lot happier and a lot less disappointed once you come back to reality. The majority of peoples problems stem from a lack of communication. If you don't tell someone exactly what you want, or you just assume that they know, you will forever and always be disappointed with some aspect of the situation.

    I feel like I could keep going with this, but I've said enough. Good read + all that jazz.